Twas the Hack Before Christmas!
by Bill Bilano!

It was the night before Christmas, and all through the house
not a person was snoring, not even my spouse!
The honeypots were set on the firewalls with care,
in hopes that some hackers would soon get ensnared!

The script kiddies were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of goatse danced in their heads.
While the misses and I slid into the sack,
I had just settled down for a warm nookie snack!

When suddenly on my pager there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my wife to see what was the matter!
Away to the laptop I went in a hurry,
even though from the 'tang my vision was blurry.

What then in front of me should I find,
but Charlie Root and the hack of a lifetime!
His packets were coming from a router somewhere,
and a distinct smell of horseshit hung in the air.

With an old binary driver that was not free,
I fired up the wireless to see what I could see.
More rapid than Theo I swore and I cursed,
that hacker had infiltrated the bank's golden purse!

With only packet headers, and not the whole body,
thanks to Northcut's advice, this exploit got naughty!
I almost called the Feds who I knew'd ask for logs,
but thanks to that drunkard Henning's handiwork,
my time sync was wrong!

I knew at that moment that I'd might as well quit,
and get back to bed and forget about it.
But then I did see what hacker thought I had missed,
a port was still open and he'd 'sploited it!

I whipped out the pico and passed on vi,
I needed something quicker than Escape+Colon+i
So I whipped up a new rule, lickity split,
"block in quick on all", now hacker eat shit!

At times like this I feel bad for the n00bs,
who don't have the skillz to tighten the screws.
So hackers stay back from this here old dude,
if you don't I might find a way to packet j00.

The hacker made off with a pretty good haul,
he hacked and cracked but that was not all.
The bank is insured and nobody will know,
about all the money that Charlie Root stole.

So I crawled back into bed and pulled up the covers,
and I knew that tonight was just like the others.
While hackers attacked my wife went to sleep,
and so tonight on her muffie I wont get to feast.

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM BILL AND MARY BILANO!!!!!!!1
AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS IF YOU DON'T LIKE JESUS!

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