Yo-ho-ho dudes! I am back from a day at the beach where I had to pick sea urchin tines out of my forehead because my wife threw one at me!! But that is another story. I went out in them waves to celebrate that I got picked to be in the ELITE class of people who give presentators at this security show that is going on in CALIFORINA! That is the state where they elected the Terminator for president in case ytou did not know.

Actually it is sort of a fluke because I did not really think they'd pick me over all the other smarties but I guess in this economy they need to maximize their value and they read my bloglog and saw that I am a font of wisdom!!!

So I wrote this proposal that I would go and talk about security vendors that come to the bank and try and sell me their wares and their wireshark. They want to help me write policies and things to make the bank safer and that will somehow get us some stimulus money because Omaba has a bad check written in my name or something and they said they can make sure we get stimulated by the man if we have a cool eight hundred page policy written and pasted in the toilet lounge. So maybe my proposal is sort of legit then I guess, I dunt know.

So I was thinky that maybe these vendors are like all working their clients over. Anybody who is anyone knows that infosac starts with the people and not with the policy. If you got people farting around like me all day well by god then you know... Well so that was how I thought about it and then I remember something I saw on FOX NEWS about these parties where collect kids put other peoples penises into their mouths. I thought that sounded pretty grodss so I quick shut them channels off after their said it was a "rainbow party" and then it HIT ME: that's exactly what these security vendors do!! They get you to take their full nine! Then Fox said it was because everybody was getting TRAP funds from the Fed and Timmy didn't pay them off I can't remember what it was about because I was trying to find a staple that was in my beard.

That said, my (fake) paper is (rickroll please LOSLSLLL!!):

The Infosec Rainbow Party

I thuought it was my duty to make these people MAD!! They would read that and say "this Bilano fellow is disgusting!" but no -- THEY ACCEPTED ME TO SPEAK AT THEIR DUMB EVENT!

Now I got a problem... I gottas get the bank to pay for my ticket. They will want to kniow why! And I will have to tell them that it is for my show about dicks! How will that look to all these people!? My name will be like all over that on Google and YouTobe... WHAT DO I DO!??