DUDES I found our yestarday something huge! I hope NOBODY ever finds out about this because it could ruin my street cred! Anyway here is what happened...

That guy "Dirk" apparently had nothing to do with the bank at all. He was not even an employee! Yesterday I went to the CEO lady and told her about "Dirk" and how he tried to kiss me on the lips and she put down her eyeliner and said "Dirk?" and so I just left the room real fast. Then I thought about it for a bit and it hit me like a ton of taco meat... I met Dirk outside of the bank when he came up to me and said "You must be Bill!" and then he told me that story about the girls butt I touch when I walk by (guilty as charged!!! LOSLS!!) and the rest was history!

So he spun up that whole story about my bloglog and posting sensitive information and it scared me up pretty good! These hackers are crafty and they apparently will stop at nothing to get our money. This is the first time I've had a physical attack at the bank that I know of not counting those guys dressed like Hamburglar who tried last spring but got caught by our security guard.

So I figgered that this dude Dirk got in because our security guards must be terrible so I fired them! It was a big deal because them guards have been here since 1972 and Old Fred has been here since and everybody loves him and he is in our TV commercials when he hands suckers to the little kids. But his time has come! If he can't do his job then we'll get new meat to fill his shoes.

So who would make the best security guards? I was thinking real hard then I thought about that taco stand again. They are in the ghettario area or something down by them train tracks. Who hangs out down there and are not afraid of the hobos? The Mexers all live down there!!! I would call Rancho but he got deported or something. Those people never fear anything and laugh at the face of danger by living down in that rotten area! And them skinny butt chica girls are fun to look at when they talk they go "yapyapyapyap... si! si!"

I Google Mapped up "security guards near ghetto AND mexican" and I found a place that looked just like the right place for me: Tres Amigos Securidado! Their slogan is "We will secure you!" or something. So I called them and now I got a great new team of three security guards and let me tell you these are tough hombres!

I was really shocked that they had such experts at security and I am totally pleased that the bank is now in good hands! I gave them their keys and stuff this morning and tonight we'll see if Mr. Dirk comes poking his beak into the honey pot again!